True story: In college, I had a friend whose girlfriend dumped him for another girl and told him she had decided that she was a lesbian. It was a real blow to his confidence because he was like, “Was I such a terrible boyfriend that I turned her off to men entirely?” Of course, he wasn’t. She had probably been thinking about that for a while.
On the upside, that sort of took care of his dilemma. His girlfriend had decided she liked women. He was a man. It all sorted out. But, what happens when your girlfriend decides she’s a DUDE, but a dude who likes guys? Theoretically, the relationship doesn’t have to end, right? I don’t think most men would be scratching their heads, puzzled about what to do in that situation, However, at least one guy is finding this to be a tough call…
My (22M) girlfriend (22) has transitioned to male and now I feel trapped in the relationship
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Before I begin let me just establish this. If I say “she” then I’m talking in the past/before and if I say “he” I’m referring to the present/now. I am male, and they shall also be hereby known as X.
A bit of context. So I met X in high school, we were both 15 when she moved to town and we hit it off immediately becoming good friends. We were quite comfortably platonic till university. We went to different ones in the same city (her for art me for engineering) and in second year none of her mates had space in their flats so she moved in with me and a couple of my mates. It was in this year we got intimate and grew to truly love each other. I am now in my 4th and final year, X is looking for work and we both live alone together. Our relationship has been steady since then.
Now, X has struggled with depression and anxiety since she was young, and while I can’t pretend to know what it’s like (my head is mercifully clear) I’ve always tried to be supportive. Whenever she was suffering badly in her first year at Uni I would come over to be with her. We’d eat a pizza, play mario kart and I’d act like everything was normal and alright. She said it helped and I was really glad about that.
But here’s the thing. About 2 months ago she had a really rough spot, worse than she had had in the past and eventually one evening told me that she didn’t feel right as a woman and needs to start presenting as a man. She had been so down over the last week because she didn’t want to tell me for fear she would lose me. I’ll be honest I didn’t really know how to take that one and after an agonising silence I hugged her, said I was there for her and would be supportive. I reasoned that this was a person I loved, so that shouldn’t change. Plus I figured from all I had ever heard about transitioning this was going to be hard and I didn’t want to make it worse by being un-receptive. From there it was an evening with a lot of crying and a lot of talking but all seemed like it would be alright.
The Best Quote on Islam That You’ve Never Heard – Winston Churchill Predicted Europe’s Fall to Islam All the Way Back in 1899
Flashback: The UK Girl, 12, Who Was Molested and Raped 10 Times at 4 Places in 1 Night by Multiple Different ‘Asian Males’
State Department urges Americans to leave Middle East as airspace closures disrupt travel
Headless, handless body found on New York road 56 years ago identified through DNA; killer remains unknown
Trump Admin Drops the Hammer on School District for Kicking Girls Aside for Trans Athletes
With dogs, dance and uncovered hair, Iranians defy ‘unholy alliance’ of socialists, radicals: ‘Hypocrites!’
Tucker Carlson says voters feel let down by Trump over Iran war
As Dems Attempt to Censure GOP Rep for ‘Anti-Muslim’ Remarks, New Party Darling Celebrated For How Much He Hates Whites
Iran Attempts to Take Credit for Downing US Aircraft, Killing Airmen, Then Fakes Evidence in Profoundly Slipshod Way
Trump-backed Potomac sewage cleanup complete after massive spill ahead of summer America250 celebrations
Nepo-Baby Nazi-Tattooed Dem Senate Candidate Decries ‘Anti-Semitism,’ Claims ‘Anti-Trans’ Agenda Cooked Up By ‘Billionaires’
Woke Woman Who Fed the Homeless for Years Recently Had Jaw Broken by Attacker With Metal Pipe in LA Homeless Park
Christian Teacher Fined $750,000 for Refusing to Agree That There Are More Than 2 Genders – Persecution in the First World
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So over the few days he seems to feel significantly better. A couple of days later he made a post about it on facebook and got almost nothing but support. His parents are fairly progressive and, I mean, his art school buddies seemed overjoyed. He blocked anyone who left laughing emotes or snide comments, but there were very few of those. I got a few comedy messages from mates but overall it seemed to be accepted by his social circle. Later that week he got a haircut, and I took him to get some new clothes. He also started deepening his voice a bit, though it took him a while to settle on one. He continues to have a fair amount of struggles with it in day to day live, not everyone in the world is receptive and he is still getting a lot of mis-gendering but it has been going better than I was expecting. The whole experience has given me a deeper compassion for the hardships that come with being trans.
However, here is the thing. I’m pencil straight. I have gay family members, I grew up thinking it was normal, I even had a night in my wild first Uni year where I got with a guy who was hitting on me but it ain’t for me. Over the last 2 months as he has continued his transition and has even started looking into surgery I have felt the spark of sexual attraction fade. It has become a running joke with most people I know that “X turned ___ gay” and I hate to admit it but it has started really getting to me. It doesn’t help that he doesn’t want anything done in the front due to it not aligning with his gender and I don’t like anal (giving, and there’s no value for either of us in me taking). I still like him, we still have a good rapport and I do want to be supportive, but I see no future in this relationship any more. My problem is I’m scared of what will happen if I try to break up. So much of his fear about coming out with this was about losing me and what will people think of me when the story is inevitably paraphrased to “he broke up with him because he was trans”. Both our names are on the lease, but neither one of us could pay for the place alone. Hell, I asked my parents what they thought and they said I should try to be a little more open minded and stick it out, it could just be a rough patch and that I’m struggling to adapt. But it’s not, I admit it’s on me but I can’t see my feelings changing. I have talked to a few of my close mates and they basically just say “glad I’m not you” jokingly and try to move the conversation on. I just don’t know what to do now and I’m feeling trapped in this relationship. What the hell do I do, how do I approach this with him and how do I end the relationship without hurting him and ostracising myself
The Best Quote on Islam That You’ve Never Heard – Winston Churchill Predicted Europe’s Fall to Islam All the Way Back in 1899
Flashback: The UK Girl, 12, Who Was Molested and Raped 10 Times at 4 Places in 1 Night by Multiple Different ‘Asian Males’
State Department urges Americans to leave Middle East as airspace closures disrupt travel
Headless, handless body found on New York road 56 years ago identified through DNA; killer remains unknown
Trump Admin Drops the Hammer on School District for Kicking Girls Aside for Trans Athletes
With dogs, dance and uncovered hair, Iranians defy ‘unholy alliance’ of socialists, radicals: ‘Hypocrites!’
Tucker Carlson says voters feel let down by Trump over Iran war
As Dems Attempt to Censure GOP Rep for ‘Anti-Muslim’ Remarks, New Party Darling Celebrated For How Much He Hates Whites
Iran Attempts to Take Credit for Downing US Aircraft, Killing Airmen, Then Fakes Evidence in Profoundly Slipshod Way
Trump-backed Potomac sewage cleanup complete after massive spill ahead of summer America250 celebrations
Nepo-Baby Nazi-Tattooed Dem Senate Candidate Decries ‘Anti-Semitism,’ Claims ‘Anti-Trans’ Agenda Cooked Up By ‘Billionaires’
Woke Woman Who Fed the Homeless for Years Recently Had Jaw Broken by Attacker With Metal Pipe in LA Homeless Park
Christian Teacher Fined $750,000 for Refusing to Agree That There Are More Than 2 Genders – Persecution in the First World
US Forces Decimate Iran Regime’s Military in ‘One of the Most Powerful Bombing Raids’ in History
Illegal Immigrant Accused of Groping Girls at Virginia High School, County Allegedly Protected Him from ICE
“How brainwashed by society are you that you ‘Hate to admit’ you’re not attracted to dudes and you try and suck it up and be gay when you aren’t. Lol. Sorry man but that’s just insane beyond belief.” — MassiveDrawl
